Autumn is upon us, I am really trying to keep you as informed as possible it is difficult with my schedule but here I am writing my second post while being here in England. I have been here for 7 weeks now and it is crazy how those weeks have gone by so fast and also they’ve felt like forever.
This semester has been amazing two weeks ago we had speaker’s week and went to this stunning retreat center in “the Dales”, which is the countryside of Yorkshire, the scenery was absolutely gorgeous there and I will tell you a little bit about it as I tell you more about what I feel like the Lord has been showing me.
So when we went to Speakers week I was pretty excited about a restful getaway and sad to say for me personally it wasn’t restful at all it was probably one of the best and worst weeks here but not because of where we were but because of my heart. My expectation in going was “I am going to spend so much time with the Lord, He is going to speak SO much to me, I am going to make even deeper relationships, I am going to have time to rest and just be” not making an intentional effort to meet those expectations they failed miserably. – BUT God is always faithful and He is always good.
During my time at the Dales, I regretfully wasn’t as intentional as I would’ve like to be But God is so faithful to still speak to me and in multiple different ways. (Can I just take a moment to Thank the Lord I have someone who WANTS to speak to me so badly who is jealous for my attention because He loves me so much. Oh what a wonderful love!)
One way God spoke to me was through some of the adventures I went on he would speak to me by reminding me of His word and how it relates to me: journeying through fields to find a castle, or me being childlike and trying to cross the cold river fully clothed in my wellies by the stepping stones and not caring that my wellies were flooded with cold water or my socks were drenched because I just was so captivated by the beauty, or simply seeing flocks of sheep that were peaceful and not worrying. Another way was through His beautiful creation as I was journeying through the fields to the castle, mucking around in the river, and pondering on the fields of careless sheep I would often find myself thinking about my beautiful creator and how beautiful all of His creation is and how he said all of these things were “good” but we as man were created in HIS image and he said we were “VERY good” (Genesis 1:31) He calls us His masterpiece or His poema (Ephesians 2:10)
Also God spoke to me through people specifically people that spoke His word to me. The speaker Mr. Tony Holyde initially I was afraid He was going to be some weird wacky “try too hard guy” yes, I honestly thought that, but boy did He totally knock out my first impression. He was honestly one of the best bible teachers I have heard. I genuinely enjoyed His teaching(s) so much it was a true blessing and He was such an open vessel to the Lord and clearly just speaking out the words that the Lord had put upon His heart so I admire and am thankful for His obedience to speak what the Lord wanted to be spoken. Even though the word Mr.Tony was speaking from the Lord may have been hard/painful for me to hear I know it was truth and it was Gods word so it was needed and so amazing. Truly it was.
Overall my experience at the dales was painful because the Lord was speaking to parts of my heart that didn’t want to hear it but it was so good and now I am still working on all the things he has shown me.
An overarching theme of this semester has been “Identity” and we are talking a lot about who we are IN CHRIST! I think weeding through the lies of the enemy and seeing who you really are in Christ is saddening because you realize for such a long time you’ve been giving into a lie and it is also spectacularly beautiful because you realize that is not who you are anymore, you are who the bible says you are one verse that I’ve been holding onto that I know is a common verse but I am seeing it in a new light is
“Therefore, if anyone is IN CHRIST, he IS a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
2 Corinthians 5:17
Now take out “the anyone” and the “He” and put Janelle and it creates this new depth to it, the verse is now personalize. “Therefore, if Janelle is IN CHRIST, Janelle is a new creation. The old has passes away; behold, the new has come.” Now the reason that this verse has just clicked is because I now look at it as: every moment I am IN CHRIST I am a new creation. It isn’t a one-time thing (which I used to think and was despressed by the “new creation” I am) it is a process that is on-going. The old is continually passing away and the new is always coming.
Remembering that there is always more grace in Christ, always more love!
God is in the business of restoration: He wants to take your old house and make it new.
While I was at the dales I realized there was a room in my house where my insecurities dwelt and I wasn’t allowing the Lord to have His way with this room full of insecurities. At the time, I wasn’t allowing God to walk around my house fully. I wasn’t allowing Him to INVADE my space. I was looking at it as “MY space” rather than HIS space which is the honest truth if I say I am living a life surrendered to God this means my heart is no longer mine but His. “my heart is yours” is making more and more sense.
Since the dales it has been a process but the Lord is cleansing me of my insecurities and it is painful at times, however, the freedom that comes from it is far greater! I am no longer a slave to fear of what people will think. I am no longer in bondage to this façade that I have been trying to paint over and over again that “I am confident”, I AM confident now, but not due to anything of me but because of Christ who is within me. Being honest and vulnerable about my insecurities is allowing the Lord to do a work. There is always more work to be done in my house- I am thankful that the Lord dwells in my house (my heart) and therefore:
“Let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
James 1:4
I am being made a new creation, He is perfecting me and making me more like Him! I need to walk in Christ every hour realizing I need Him and pressing on with steadfastness looking forward to becoming more like Christ.
PRESS ON.
PRESS INTO JESUS.
ALWAYS MORE.
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
uncHEARTed territory 